Annoyed

I am just ended my STPM exam.
I should felt glad,cheers and excited.
Yea,I do.
For the 1st few days only...
After few days,something happened.
An unexpected one.
Not going to say it now.
But it...really torture me.
And I HATE IT!!!!

Tension!

Yeep yeep...
Less than 2weeks I will face STPM..
Yet..I am still..Like that..
My study speed is...Damn slow..
1day 1chap ONLY..
Forcing myself to have 2chap..
But failed..
SHIT!!!
More slack than my SPM..
Hoh Sei liao..
Nevermind la..
Will going to Private if I couldn't get the course I want..
IMU is my first choice previously..
But their MUET qualify is band 4 and need don't what "IX"..
Suan le ba..My english is too limit..>.<
Second,UCSI~
Third,oversea ba..
Discuss with parents first..
No matter what and how,fight for this exam first!!!
Last post before my exam..
Bless me kao kao!!
Gam Xia Lu~!!!!

你就是他

他
是我一个很特别的朋友
一个没有人能代替的朋友

我们曾经感情很要好
对我来说
他就像是我的哥哥一样

我有什么事
第一个想到的就是他
无论是开心的也好
伤心的也好
还是只是一件普通通的事

后来有一些事情发生
我们从无话不说的死党
变成了陌生人
最熟悉的陌生人来形容我们
也许是最贴切的

前一阵子
我又想找回他的念头
但因为某种原因
我怯步了

最近我得知原来他一直和我有一样的想法
想找回当年死党的友情

埋在最深的心底的事
突然可以解决
感觉很怪但很开心
因为我以为这辈子我们都不能和好了

虽然我不知道到底能不能像以前那么好
但至少有点希望。。

I am FINE~!

Hmmm...Yea
By refer to my previous blog,I am kinna emo,sad,despo..
All those negative thinking..

Thanks for those who consult me,
although just few message or a conversation or so on..
but it is useful and I am appreciated~
You guys make me feel warm and..
Got the ohm to fight for it~!

No matter what and how my result is..
At least I had tried..
I DO my best,not just TRY my best..

Friend say,"What's change after you cry?You still don't know,you still blur.Why don't you make use the time of sit there and cry to find the answer and make yourself clear."
Hmmm..Agree with him BUT..
If cried can depressed..Why don't I find the answer and cry together?Hahahahaha..

Another friend say,"Relax~!"*Forgot how he say..The main point is don't tension and last minutes study~
True also! I got a better result in midterm just because I am not tension,not stress,my mind set is answer whatever I know;those who don't know,ignore~If not can how o..Copy others mer~
But trial I aim result..>.
Anyway,just to tell those for are worrying me that I am fine~!
No matter how worst the result..I still can go for private ar~
The day is not end yet!!
Lalalalalala~!!!



*To my dear JUNIOR!! You're one of them who making me stress!!
Say hami want show off my result to others!!
Make me stress sia~!!
I am just your foster lor~~~To help you 'menyesuaikan diri' at form6 life.
But since that you're ex-highschoolian,you know this school much more better than me,
so I no need bother you much~
But you don't make me stress lor~!!
Macam you're my foster edy~!!
Isshhhhh..!!!Don't want 'choi' u!!
Hahahaha~Relieve~
*For those who know him.Don't tell him!!He don't know I am the bloggie~Hahahaha..*

I am Lost

I feel very very very bad now..
I got no mood for my studies..
Hollyshit!!
My mum had left me at home and she went for the praying for "Gao Ong Ya"..
I was so despo..I am so emo...
Yea,I admit that I am emo for the very first time..
I don't know who I can talk to..
As my bud are not on9..
I am sad..
Tears rolls..
I couldn't stand for it anymore...

I understand,even though I had pray but if I didn't pay the effort,the result will be still the same..
I know..I understand..
But if I had pray,there's the confidences..
Just like my Speaking test..I surely got the very low marks!!!
I got the points..Many points..
But I got no chances to say as my teammates had involved into a quarrel..
Or I should say,an argument for a more polite way..
A not friendly argument..

My luck is damn not good!!
You said that when a person do good things,the luck will come..
I had changed much in this years..To a better person..
Not for the luck..For myself..To improve..
But why I seems like got the better luck when I am so bad..

I am not moody..It isn't a simply emo..
I am deeply sad..I could feel my heart is bleeding..
I am sad..I am not happy..

I got totally NO confident for this STPM after I had got my result in final..
My result dropped..
For few grade!!Not only marks!!
I got no confident to continue my studies..
I am lost..I feel very scare..
I scare to disappoint my parents..
Because they thought I am very good just because my midterm is quite okay..

I...I..I am lost..
Where's my direction..
T.T

Vin

I had went airport this early morning.

To say "Good Bye" to Yuvin.

He went Canada to pursue his studies.

Starting didn't feel anything.

But once I saw his tears rolling in his eyes.

When he hugged his family tightly.

Many emotions pops out.

I felt sentimental in sudden.

Memories of him flooded my mind.

Yea~May be you guys may felt that I sad for what..

Not that close also wad..

Yea yea..

We aren't close.

We are only classmates.

We are only Hi-Bye friends.

We never talked in class before because I sat at the most front while he was at the most back.

The ONLY interaction during Form4 Form5 was on every Monday.

"You late again ar?Hahaha..."

Actually we are not late,but always reach school ON TIME.

I am the latest to reach school among girls in my class and he is among guys.

*Why I can remember so clear?Because he wrote this as my comment in our class graduate book.

But all these not close friendship had ended before last year.

We went the same camp at Dusun Eco,Pahang last year.

We are the committees.

I only know that he is so blur enough to make me laugh at him.

Yet he didn't angry.

For those who know me well,I sure will start bully him la!!

Hahahaha..

But only in the camp because after that we got not much chance to meet.

BUT~

He came to our Form6 Math tuition.

Sweat~! Got too much money...

Then got closer with him and started bullied him.

Actually I didn't bully him,I only laugh at him.

Because he really too blur~

So and so...

All those memories(lazy mention all out lar..) flooded my mind while looking he checked in.

Of course,all the guys hugged him just before he stepped to the escalator.

KaiLee asked us want to shake hand with him?

But I guess I dare not..

Because I felt to tears when I saw his family tearing.

(It is so sad,believe me!!)

I not sure I won't tears after shake hand with him.

At the same time,I wonder if I got the chance to get into Sabah or Sarawak local U.

Will my family cry?

I think won't lor...

Coz my parents had planned to go with me!!

Felt happy and sad at the same time.

Happy coz I won't got homesick.

Sad coz I couldn't grow up independently.

I want to learn to take care of myself!!

I want to learn to be smart!!

I don't want blur blur!!

p/s: I saw a very cute little boy in the airport.I shake my hand with him (Means ByeBye) and he shake to me too!!!Then I fly kiss to him and he was shy!!!Sooooooooooooo cute lar!!!! Hahahaha...

Sobzz

Can I cry??

STPM is soooooooooooo near yet I am so slack!!!

Keep sleep sleep sleep!!!

I can't control my eye lid..

It keep closing..>.

My future ar~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone motivate me??

T.T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moody

Kinna moody nowadays..
Sometime cheers..
Sometime emo..
Sometime disappointed..
Sometime mad off..
What happened to me..
T.T

Suprised that I am nervous when I saw you
Suprised that my mind totally blank when you come near me
I must control~!
CAN NOT fall for you..
No No No!!!

Thingy

I know it's a bit late to post this.

But never mind la~

At least I post right?*ngiek ngiek ngiek*

Finally all of my club had AGM~

Means can't slacking anymore~!!

Study harder~!!

Not start study already..

Hmmm..Now waiting for my MP's~

Hahahaha..

I joined 4clubs (Seni dan Budaya,Moral,Basketball and MPP) and Koperasi for bonus.

S&B and Moral are take over by Arus.

So didn't have MP. *SAD*

Luckily I still got Koperasi,Bkb and MPP~

Wheeeee~!

Anyway,should reduce my time on FB, Youtube and blog~

STPM,

My future. My life.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By request from 1 of my buddy~

I blog a bit about my prom ba..

Hmmm...

It was on Sunday night.

Let me refresh~

*silent*

That day was a busy day.

Because I usually settled my housework on that day.

Sweep and mopped.

But I washed clothes on that day as well because my mum had dipped those clothes a day before.

SO~I forced to wash up all.

Anyhow,I still managed to settle down myself before 2pm.

Then,bath and ready all my stuff for the night and went Hui Chin's house.

We study a bit there.

Really a bit only. *Can't concentrated lorr..*

Then,she type her club's report and I helped her a bit typing.

Around 3.30pm,we only went to the saloon named "Clips" at BBK there.

HC drove there~

Lolx..First time be her passenger.

Taught her how to parking.XD

She say I am a good teacher ler~~Wheeee~

Then,she set hair first because she had chosen the hair style she want.

After she had set,I still no idea.

So...Just let the hair stylist to decide la..

I anything de ma..

While I setting up,I keep called HueyHsien.

Because it's almost 5pm.

We scare no time for it.

Luckily she reached just nice I had settled.

But we didn't wait her because the I had booked SueJean (Our make up stylist) at 5pm.

So we rushed back.

And Jean had waited us for awhile.

Sorrrryyyyyy~!!!!>.<

Then,HC make up first then my turn.

HC damn damn damn pretty that night.

Just like a bride.

Very lennnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg~!!!

Then,we rushed to KEC.

Luckily I had borrowed a scarf from HC's mum.

That night was raining.

The atmosphere is damn freak cold~!!

I wonder how those people wearing tube dress didn't shivering like me.

Then,we as committee enter at the most last.

But felt so odd.A bit shy...

Don't like this type of feeling.

My table left 2seats for me and MeiTing.

1 is beside JiaYang,1 is beside KaiLee.

SEE also know which one is my seat la..Lolx..

*My table got HuiChin, WunChen, HueyHsien, CheeHo, KianAnn, JiaYang, MeiTing, KaiLee, FungKhiang,HisGF*

The prom start with speech.

Then performance > eat.

Many people capture photo while eating.

Included 5 of us~

But KaiLee haven't upload until now~

Lolx..

Then,3 of us(MT,KL,me) went toilet to get some warmness.

SS-ing inside the toilet.

And my scarf was confiscated by MT~!

She said the scarf made my dress very "beh kua".

So at last we dealed 1thing.

I will had my scarf back when we are sitting.

I will put it off when I am not sitting=walking/standing.

But they cheated me lor~!!

They put it on by turn,cause all of us are cold~

HC>HH>MT>KL&me.

Then,see performance again.

After that free dance.

My partner had invited me.

But felt odd..>.<

Maybe we not that close yet..

Lucikly SenChen and his partner is with us.

We chatted happily.

AND SC's partner requested to change partner with me.

And I am ok with it.

Because I kenal SC mar~

1st junior I kenal lor~!Lolx..

*gossip time*

I heard SC's partner SEARCHED my partner for a long time already.

I was like..WAO~!

She so brave ler..Lolx..

Another my junior's admirer.

*gossip ended*

In between, my partner and me got "suan siao" by our friends lo..

Sienz~ Expected..

In this,I am admired my own alertness~XD

I could easily avoided every push from THEM.

*You know la..Sienz*

Wheeee~! I so pro ler..XD

Another interesting stuff~

I teased WengHou as well~~Hahahaa..

He was too timid la~!!

Should I use timid to describe?XD

Lolx..He should...Haihz..Nothing le la..

He satisfied can already..

Then,back to seat.

Time for lucky draw.

MT won the hamper~

Then the most "LUCKY" draw turn.

6 peoples' chair was stick a letter.

And I so LUCKY.

I am one of them.

6 of us are asked to go up the stage to have something LUCKY.

The lucky ever thing was "安全之吻".

Feel like crying that time.TT

My lucky partner was PangYang.

Luckily is kenal quite long de..

Won't paiseh..Hahaha..

And again I am sooooooooooooo admired of my "seng mok".

I used finger to block at first by rejected.

Then I changed to I kiss the corner while PY kiss the middle.

Wheeee~!

And I saw my dear JUNIOR keep capture this with his exciting face.

He always got excited when I felt the opposite.

*You hate me,right!!Lolx...*

After that,time for voting prom king and queen~

Of course,we vote for WUN CHEN la..

Buddy's husband ler~Lolx...

Then,I hide inside toilet when prom king was appeared~

Cause I predicted something bad will happened~!!

>.

But still got found out by KhaLim and Jushean.

So..Boh Huat already..

Go lor..Accompany HC ba..

Sienz...Hate this type of feeling also..

Then,this prom ended with capturing with some friends.

Don't know since when,

I only like to be with my friend.

The close one.

Don't know since when,

I am shy to know new friends.

I am not used to smile with those I not really know.

But I will smile back to them if they smile to me first.

I don't like to be the one who taking the initiative.

Just because I am a girl?

Don't know since when,

I don't like to be spotted.

I prefer to be the audience.

Observing others.

I like the way to be peace.

Updated

Many things had happened these days.

The cheers one.The sad one.The disappointed one. Etc.

The sad and the disappointed one.

Hmmm..Nothing to say much.

19years old,should have a brain which can think wisely.

What can say and what can't say.

I understand everyone got their own trustworthy person.

But...

I am pretty sure you know what is the consequences of what you had did.

Hmmm..Hope you can stop although it is too late.

Time flies.Someday in future you will got find out by others.

*Not suit to express too much.*

The excitement.

Our school's chinese society had organised an event.

12 performances in total.

Some performance are quite special.

Eg. 变脸,杂技..

Although it is not as grand as KH but you guys had did a great job~!

Because it is so darn hard to organise an slightly bigger event at my school.

So~The performance is rank 8 to me~!

Besides,Henley ( Champion of SUPERSTAR 200x,I forgot already) had been invited to our school.

I not that like him actually.

But he is handsome~!!!

This attracted me..Hahahaha..

Had took quite a number of his photo~

I find out I am getting more hesitated.

You know what,I not dare shake hand with Henley~

@@...I also don't know why.

>.<...The same feeling at prom appears.

But after ZJ encouraged.

I did it~^^

I used my right hand~

Then JW asked me a question.

"You want at stage de or below stage de?"

Of course~ Is below stage de la..Lolx..

I will be a bit out of control when I saw handsome~

But my mind set still clear lo~!Hahahaa..

The odd one.

It's about the prom.

Hmmm..I prefer "Night Fever" more than "Phantom Night".

Not to say they are not good this year.

Their venue is better.Many performance.

But the food not nice.

Too many outsider,didn't feel the warmness like last year.

Performance too much,felt bored.

The unbalance of time for performance and free dance.

Didn't felt any phantom~

If the same person of my table this year is at last year.

Then,it should be great~Hahaha..

And all my girls are so sharp that night.

So enjoy with you all~

Muakxx~!

Besides,I found out that this year female junior is so initiative.

They will invite the partner they want.

So....WAO~!

Lolx..But I guess I never can do this.

Hahahaha..

This year juniors are rich~

Most of them wear so grand and set up their hair.

Compare last year me and this year junior.

Owwhhh..So big difference.XD

Besides,there's few couple appeared~

Tradition of form6?Hahahaha..

* How to make some post private?

I dare not blog out what I want after juniors enter.

I scared got stalked.

Think too much?

Lolx.

------------------------------------------------------------

I like the way you hold me to the middle.

It make me flashback some pasts of mine.

And it is sweet.

I like you the way you give me that.

It's suprised.

I guess,I shouldn't think that you had motive.

May be you have.

But may be not.

Think that you are sincere and naive,

I will feel better.

*I like the colour of blue.

Because it make me feel relax.

Just like I decided to believe on you.

It is more relax than guessing.

文章

有些东西，你再喜欢也不会属于你的，
有些东西，你再留恋也注定要放弃的，
人生中有许多种爱，但别让爱成为一种伤害..

有些缘分是注定要失去的，
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的，
爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱

他..


男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了；女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了..

如果真诚是一种伤害，我选择沉默..
如果沉默是一种伤害，我选择离开..

如果失去是苦，你怕不怕付出..
如果迷乱是苦，你会不会选择结束..
如果追求是苦，你会不会选择执迷不悟..
如果分离是苦，你要向谁倾诉..
好多事情都是后来才看清楚，
好多事情当时糊里糊涂,但
清醒时一切都成为往事.


有一种爱, 明明是深爱, 却说不出来..
有一种爱, 明明想放弃, 却无法放弃..
有一种爱, 明知是煎熬, 却又躲不开..
有一种爱, 明知无前路, 心却早已收不回来..

决定放弃你的那一刻我心碎了..


什么是勇气？
是求着要你爱我，还是逼迫自已离开..?

为什么我们总是不懂得珍惜眼前的这个人呢？
在未可预知的重逢里，我们以为总会重逢，总会有缘再会，
总以为有机会说一声对不起，却从没想过每一次挥手道别，都可能是诀别..

一声叹息，都可能是人间最后的一声叹息..


爱上了你的温暖，即使没有任何结局..
爱上了你的爱情，即使你不确定..

人这样的生物，仔细一看，原来是伤痕累累的..
是否被爱，每个人有不同的感受..
重寻旧梦的代价往往是惨重的..
人世间的幸福，总会令人好看一点..


身上一切，看似不经意，却是我苦心经营，希望你快乐..

世事其实都是在它适当的时候降临，只是我们没有适当的心情去迎接它..


因为爱他，所以离开他.. 我喜欢这句话。
有些感情如此直接和残酷。容不下任何曲折的温暖。
带着温暖的心情离开，要比苍白的真相要好，纯粹的东西死的太快了..


感情被懂得是一种幸福，等待着被懂得是一种孤独..

我选择放弃你，因为我深爱你.. 在爱情上，我输了..

Worried

I couldn't sleep~!!!
My mind is full of STPM, MUET and my prom night's partner.

STPM...MUET
It's so near already but I still haven't prepared.Arrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh~! I angry myself so much~!!And I am retaking my MUET also..Coz my previous result is totally NOT qualify for a bio stream student.No point.Take again.So~!!!!!!I need to face these 2 v.v.v.v.v.important exam at the same month.Oh my gosh..Can I do it?>.<...I want to cry~!!!!!Anyone can lend a shoulder?T.T

Partner..
Hmmmm..This..I guess he never know my blog since he so...NERD.Hahaha...I thought I will feel happy after he invited me,but things didn't go that way.I started worried, started suspecting..I always feel that he deserve a better partner la..Now some more is the most good looking in my school.>.<...I told my friend.Both of them scolded me.>.<..Yea,I think too much..

Arggghhhh~!!!Still couldn't stop thinking my dear STPM and MUET~!!!

Aim

I got 2.33 for my mid-term.
Although I am satisfied with it,
but not my family,especially my mum and sister.
Keep nagging me..
Arwww~!!
My happiness and proudness totally gone.
>..